Remember the last time you set a goal and didn’t achieve it? Maybe it was to quit smoking, build muscles, or earn a certain amount of money. As much as you wanted—and gave your best—you failed.
Just like we celebrate when we realize our goals, we must analyze and uncover the reasons we don’t reach our goals. While the factors may differ based on individual and other situational factors, I have identified seven primary causes people don’t accomplish their goals.
Determining and arriving at our destination depends on an accurate evaluation of our actual situation.
Bachir Bastien
They Don’t Have an Accurate Picture of Their Present Circumstances
The first and one important step in achieving a goal is to assess and acknowledge our actual condition. Without a clear-cut assessment of our present position, we can go nowhere. If you’ve ever used Google Maps, you know to take you to your desired destination, Google needs your current position. Similarly, determining and arriving at our destination depends on an accurate evaluation of our actual situation. A well-defined location is quintessential to reaching our goal.
When setting life goals, an honest inventory of our lives can be the most challenging task. While it’s easy to count our strengths, it requires courage and honesty to map out our flaws. Unfortunately, there is no way around this.
A life of productivity and fulfillment begins with doing away with ego, fear, and pride, and accepting our current circumstances as they are. Plato said it best; “an unexamined life is not worth living.”
Start by observing yourself, your daily actions, and your thoughts in a detached, non-judgmental manner. It doesn’t matter how ugly it is, embrace it and know that you have the power to change it.
They Lack of Self-Discipline
Everyone knows how easy it is to engage in a pleasurable activity. It takes no effort, no real willpower to spend hours playing a sport you like. But laboring day and night to reach a goal requires self-discipline.
How much self-discipline does someone need to stay in your warm and cozy bed? I know. None. Life is composed of have-to-dos and love-to-dos. To reach your goals (love-to-do) it’s critical to make sacrifices (meaning dealing with “have-to-dos”). No one can enjoy every step toward achieving a great endeavor.
Muhammed Ali, one of the most celebrated figures of the twentieth century, earned a reputation as the very embodiment of self-discipline.
Ali would be up by 4:00 am. After praying, he would be ready for a six-mile run in heavy boots to help enhance stamina. His meals were followed by an evening workout that Ali didn’t particularly find interesting. He maintained this habit six days a week and would train between two to fourteen weeks ahead of a fight. In his words: “I hated every minute of training but I said, ‘Don’t quit, suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’”
He was aware of what was necessary to become the champion he longed for. If you don’t cultivate the self-discipline to fend off distractions and focus on your goal, you will fail. Unlike a change of circumstances, self-discipline is something we can control.
They Set Goals That Are Too Vague
A goal has the power to inspire, disengage, or create anxiety. Inaction and paralysis by analysis may ensue because of goals that are too big. Given my current performance on the basketball court, a dream to join the NBA next year (or any year, really) is improbable to see the light of the day.
All else equal, the various skills that I’d need to develop would frustrate me to the point of complete inaction. Similarly, unchallenging goals that don’t push us beyond our perceived limitations will disengage us and cause procrastination. We need goals lofty enough to inspire, stretch, and engage.
The number of unknowns involved in pursuing an ambitious goal is overwhelming. By identifying long-term goals and the means of achieving them, we increase our chance of getting useful feedback effective for taking corrective measures faster.
They Don’t Seek Help
The belief that asking for help makes us weak and stupid is another major reason people are unsuccessful in reaching their goals. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness, but a testament to strength and humility.
Requesting assistance is an art that, if done right, can be instrumental in helping us achieve our goals. While we are it, I will share two simple techniques that one can use when seeking for help. First, extend a helping hand.
This may sound counterintuitive, but it is a very effective way to enlist someone’s assistance. What if that person needs nothing? You asked. Everyone needs help.
Do your homework, find out what they need, and offer to help, no matter how inconsequential it may be. For example, to interview a famous singer in Taiwan, I joined a TEDx event as an organizer allowing her to share her unique stories with a large audience.
She agreed and without explicitly making any demands; I got every piece of information I needed from her through our conversations! Remember, the more you give, the more you get, not the other way around!
If the primary measure prevents you from coming off as needy, or desperate, this step will make you appear interested and prepared. Before seeking help on a topic, gather as much information as possible.
Say, for instance, you want to gain an understanding of equity investment. As a complete beginner, the most potent strategy to get help is to read about investment ahead of time.
You can say, “I read inexperienced investors should always assess their risk tolerance before entering the stock market. What are your ideas about that? Did that work for you?” It would be so hard for that person to ignore you.
Simply saying to someone: I want to learn to invest, help me, please! will ruin your chance of getting any help, as it clearly shows you are not serious. Let this remind you to seek assistance next time you are working on your goal.
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye
Matthew 7: 7-8 KJV
Shall find knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh
findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”
They Bite Off More Than They Can Chew
At any given moment, you will find yourself juggling multiple long-term goals vying for your time and energy. If you possess a multitude of goals that you can’t prioritize, not only will your productivity suffer, but your mental well-being and well-being will be negatively affected.
So, realize that there is no advantage in overwhelming yourself with goals that you cannot accomplish. Be careful not to overload yourself, learn to prioritize, and you’ll reach your goals while maintaining your vibrant health and happiness.
They Gave In to Naysayers
When I started working out in 2011, I was 55 kg, within three years of dedicated work I had added 15 kg of muscle mass. I shared a before-and-after picture on one of my social media accounts, which attracted several followers seeking advice.
They were all excited and positive at the beginning, but nine out of ten would quit in less than three months. The reasons: Besides lack of discipline and the misuse of the other principles presented in this article, most of them give up because of someone’s opinions of them. “My girlfriend told me he likes me the way I am,” “My friends told me I will never be muscular, I don’t have that gene, etc.”
Similarly, well-meaning friends or family of yours will try to talk you out of your goals because it may make no sense to them. And it shouldn’t. That’s your goal, your vision. You don’t have people to validate your goals. If you are quitting, because of someone else’s opinion, please reconsider.
Their Circumstances Change
Failing to achieve a goal isn’t necessarily a negative occurrence. When situations change before we achieve a goal, the goal may become unimportant. Every year, I set around a dozen goals, but I will abandon a third of them. For example, I gave up my goal to squat 200 kg last year because of constant knee pains.
Goal disengagement, as psychologists call it, shouldn’t scare you. It’s normal to let go of a goal if you, for reasons beyond your control, can’t—and don’t want to—work towards it.
Goal-setting involves a deliberate and emergent strategy. If you find a better opportunity or aren’t motivated by a goal anymore, be ready to change course without blaming yourself for not reaching it.
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If you have failed to achieve a goal and any of these seven reasons resonate with you, share your experience with the community.
That is a very useful overview I think for everyone
Thank you for the comments. It means a lot! 🙂